As a first time mom who also happens to be a pediatrician, it’s been so fun for me to have conversations with my families who have babies of a similar age to mine! I’ve noticed that many of the questions that come up in exam rooms are similar to the things my husband has asked me in our daughter’s first eight months of life.
Here are some of the discussions that have come up in our house about the day to day realities of raising a baby:
- Burping. Burping is a tool, not a requirement. I noticed my daughter would spit up more if I burped her, so I stopped doing it by the time she was a few weeks old. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to burping; if you think it helps your baby feel more comfortable then go for it. But if it’s taking a long time, you forget to do it, or — like me — you will do anything to get back to sleep a bit faster, it is no big deal. It took me a while to convince my husband it was okay to stop, but I think once he got used to it he appreciated the time saver.
- Pooping frequency. There is a wide range of stooling frequency in babies. As long as the poops are soft and easy to pass it is normal for a baby to poop multiple times a day or every few days (fussy babies, straining with hard poops are a different story). I honestly couldn’t tell you how often my daughter poops because my daycare doesn’t really track it. But I’m not worried about it and have convinced my husband not to be as well.
- Daycare illness frequency. It is not an exaggeration to say that the first winter in daycare will lead to constant illness. Not sure my husband believed me when I first told him this, but now six weeks in he is starting to understand that we will all be coughing and snotty for the next six months. There is no magic way to prevent this, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with my daughter’s immune system.
- Taking shortcuts. This is okay and encouraged (within reason)! For example, I was against my husband warming up our daughter’s bottle because I didn’t want to create unnecessary work for myself by getting her used to that. If she isn’t exposed to something, she doesn’t know the difference!
- Food seasoning. It is absolutely okay for a baby to eat solid foods that have seasoning on them. Don’t go crazy with extra salt, but my daughter is enjoying food much more now that I’ve convinced my husband to stop wiping off all the seasoning.
- “Lethargic.” This is a total pet peeve of mine. I felt inclined to give my husband a quick explanation the first time he said our daughter was acting lethargic. Lethargy in medical terms means a child who is practically unresponsive, has altered mental status, is listless (think of a child who doesn’t cry/let out a peep when their blood is being drawn, just lays there limp). Those kiddos need to be in the emergency room. You will see me use terms such as fussy, tired, not playful, or lower energy instead.
It’s not just my husband who has had a learning curve. Becoming a mom is completely different from being a pediatrician, and while my medical knowledge is certainly helpful, I’m learning so many things about the practical day-to-day of parenting. Some of the things I really had no idea about, or have a different perspective on, include:
- Ear wax. Before my daughter, I honestly wondered why I got so many questions about ear wax in babies and then I realized it’s because when feeding a baby you practically stare into their ears for hours on end! I spend a lot of time thinking about my daughter’s ear wax, even though I know I should just leave it alone. Ear wax is harmless and actually self cleaning, so nothing to do or worry about.
- Cradle cap. Similar to ear wax, cradle cap is harmless, and you don’t have to do anything for it. BUT man oh man is it hard to ignore. I would find myself scrubbing at my daughter’s cradle cap because it drove me crazy. I noticed that I was actually pulling a lot of hair out when I tried to remove it, so I had to hold myself back and just leave it be.
- Diapers. Big topic here in the Mickey household. Lots I didn’t realize. The suggested weight range on the diaper sizes is essentially meaningless. I waited way too long to size up on diapers when she started having blowouts. Also, different brands fit differently, so we had to try a few before finding the one that fit her proportions. Finally, before my daughter I would not have been convinced that a baby could be sensitive to certain brands of diapers. However, my daughter’s diaper rash resolved after we changed brands. So….. now I might recommend changing brands in certain scenarios.